Harsh words or gentle ones, they're two sides of the same blade; They cut the same. Admonishment has never sat well with me. Recently I've been feeling that I'm growing out of the bubble that's been built around me. Each time I reach to touch the walls, to try to burst it, there's someone slapping my hands away. I cannot shrug things off the way many guys do, I just can't. What I'd give to have someone close by right now. But there'll be the question of how far friends will go, of whether they are more important than family. And so even if there's an outstretched hand, I cannot take it. Yet it's the only hand. I wonder what kind of decision I'm supposed to make like that. Labels: family, friends, musings
Right now, I really really want to go away. I wonder if it's not a form of escape. I may simply be returning to more unrest, more tension. Floating more. At the end of the day it'll be me alone. I can't... Well, I don't know what I can or cannot endure.
I really really want to go away...
Then I'll hate myself for really really wanting to come back.
How the hell did things become like that?
It'll be easier if I could undo the years and not grow up.