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I had a most lovely buffet dinner at a hotel with my uncle and aunt this evening. While I'd always been somewhat intimidated by my tall and cool aunt, tonight I realised that something has changed. Labels: family, Japan, musings
One thing good about growing up is that it puts me on a more equal platform with my relatives. Previously when I came to Japan with my family and had my parents bringing me around and paying for everything, there was a very clear demarcation between adult and child. At that time the dependency on my parents was obvious, and in such instances, it was difficult to be treated seriously. When adults talked, children were marginalised, and we became wall flowers. Conversations between me and adults seldom went beyond "how's school?" and the like.
However, being in Japan alone this past year and fending for myself in Tokyo seems to have led to a promotion from a mere 'child' to 'adult'. I've been making my own decisions, food, travel plans etc, and while my relatives look out for me, it is clear that I can stand on my own two feet and am perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation on my own power. When I meet relatives, there's no more mommy or daddy to hide behind, so I become one of the main players in the conversation. Being recognised as an adult means that the conversation topics have broadened, and we talk about a greater variety of things instead of just school.
Being in the child category and adult category are two entirely different matters. On the other hand, it doesn't make that much difference whether one is a young adult, or an older adult. A child can be promoted to an adult, but once you reach adulthood, there's no higher stage. Hence with time, the gap can be closed, I can catch up with them. As a result, there's a greater sense of equality, and now I feel that more than smiling and nodding, I can jest with them. There's also a sense of coming onto my own. The passing years do not just add years to one's age, but also experience, confidence, and language ability.
Having said all that, while there's an implicit acknowledgement that I have grown up, nevertheless, my dinner was paid for by my uncle. =p