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We're involved in cycles, day after day, time after time. Suddenly I want to throw my hands up in despair and scream, "Why am I doing this?!" Sometimes it feels like I'm toiling on my own, trying to keep the conversation going, instead of lapsing into monosyllabic answers. Help me out here; Give me proper replies - more words, not just symbols! Usually I don't think too much about it, I just keep putting effort into keeping the words flowing, or to keep the friendships alive. Then I suppose there comes a time when enough is enough, or when I just want someone else to work alongside me. I don't want to be the only fool who cares enough to put in the effort. It takes two hands to clap. If you don't like applause, tell me so I can save my energy.
I've probably said this before, but the lack of proficiency in a third language limits what I can talk about. I just don't have the vocabulary to talk about all the things in my head, and it doesn't help that whatever I am able to manage becomes lopsided.
And don't think this is just about my friends in Japan. I have noticed - for quite a while, in fact - that some people back in Singapore aren't putting in the effort anymore. Right now, that pisses me off. Friendship isn't something you can neglect and yet expect it to flourish, you know!
