freedom
courage
patience
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Thanks to some setting in my phone which I have yet to figure out (probably won't, not in the near future), when I call people my name doesn't appear. So it feels good when I call someone for the first time and the person recognises my voice, and possibly my way of speaking. Sometimes the voice sounds familiar, but we just can't place it. Being able to identify the voice immediately, it makes the identified and the identifier feel good, no? Labels: friends, Japan, musings
Being here and meeting international students, I've come to realise that there are times when East meets West, there's a conflict of cultures, communication, understanding... I've a friend who's more angsty and volatile. Things I can easily overlook and brush off, they get him worked up. When our points of view differ, he retorts that I wouldn't understand because of so-and-so (which I now can't remember). There was a point in time I wondered whether I'm the kind of friend he'd want, because we come from different worlds, and our attitudes are vastly different. I thought maybe he'd want someone more like him, who can understand where he's coming from. On second thought, I think it's good he has me. What are two angsty people going to do together? Sit down and sulk together, or yell at the world for being so screwed up? Maybe the two of us, we strike a good balance. His irritability amuses me sometimes, and hopefully my cheerfulness rubs off on him and gets him out of a bad mood.
Much as I dislike dragging myself out of bed for morning classes, once I'm out of my room and with my friends I'm generally in a good mood. It shows. I don't understand why, but when my friends are feeling/looking grumpy, I want to drag them out of it, or try to joke the blues away, or just distract them with cheerful aimless banter. With friends, I'm more accommodating, more generous, more... happy?
Me, I like the little things that are signs of friendship. Like inviting me to go to the combini together to get a snack, or assuming that we're going together, or just bantering "chocolate again?" when I'm at the combini looking at the array of candy, or making fun of each other, or the little pokes and jabs we give/receive, or coming round to chat for a bit during breaks or at the end of lessons... There was a presentation about friendship today. The number of people you trust, the number of true friends you have, the differences in the lastingness of friendships across cultures... I don't care too much for those. I just know that this thing called friendship requires effort; It's not something you can create, neglect, and assume that it'll flourish - that's pure nonsense. Even if two people don't meet often, someone's got to take the first step to initiate a meeting.
And if you say something... Mean it.