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> little bits of happiness
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Cheer seems like it's going to take up more time than I'd thought. Apart from having gymnastics sessions on Saturday sometime in the future, trainings are also ending past 9pm these days. So by the time I get home and wash up, it'll be nearing 11.30pm. If today's any indication, I'll be tired, grumpy, and eager to hop into bed. Trying to revise my work, and prepare in advance... That's taking up quite some time too. And when tutorials start, it's only going to get worse. It's quite hard to get work done after training. I pray I'll have enough time and energy. Labels: cheerleading
Speaking of training, I'm in the unenviable position of being trapped between the "seniors" and juniors. I don't know where to classify myself, and I think they don't know too. Which makes for some confusion on my part, and there's just this... ambiguity... that I don't like. Being classified as a senior would mean I should do the same PT as them, but having been away (and not exercising) for a year, my physical condition certainly isn't on par with them at the moment. Just take the pushups, for example. Done at breakneck speed, they were absolutely killing me not an easy feat. On the other hand, being classified as a junior feels a bit wrong too, since I'm in no way a freshie and it seems a bit of an insult. It's just the crappy situation I'm in, and it can't be helped. Then it always just so happens that there are odd numbers, and guess who becomes the odd one out?
When it came to stunting/tumbling, the girls were supposed to group themselves into wannabe girl-bases, or flyers. So it was really up to us. I looked at the little freshies with their twiggy arms and legs, sighed inwardly, and joined the girl-base group. It's not that I've anything against basing, but I was a flyer, and my heart itches to go back to that. I don't aspire to be a top flyer, but more of the mid-tier... Oh well. I guess I will work hard at basing, work hard at shedding my extra weight, and... occasionally bug the guys to let me try a liberty, or a basket toss. To scratch the itch, you know? The juniors' fitness levels aren't too bad, so I hope when it comes to stunting they'll be promising too. Otherwise it's going to be so agonising, in so many ways.
Maybe it was thanks to cramps just now, but my mood was bad and I was thinking dark thoughts, wondering what the hell I'm getting myself into. I don't want to invest so much time and energy into something that's going to make me feel alienated or uncomfortable. It's much too early to make any drastic decisions, so I will hang around and try to interact with both "seniors" and juniors and see how it all works out. Manpower looks sufficient at the moment, the committee is committed, they seem to have a solid system, and all in all things look good. So... Sometimes there's really no point in whacking a dead animal. Weird metaphor, I know.
とにかく、好きじゃなければ無理しなくてもいいと思う。