freedom
courage
patience
Free shoutbox @ ShoutMix
> welcoming 2008 from yokohama!
> 仲良しとの旅行
> Playing David Tao's "Tian Tian" on my iTunes now. ...
> blessed is she who is loved!
> of crazy snow fun (",)
> I should know all too well by now that I'm not som...
> christmas illumination :)
> I have found a job in Japan, I'm not going back to...
> can you do it? YES YOU CAN!
> May 2007
> June 2007
> July 2007
> August 2007
> September 2007
> October 2007
> November 2007
> December 2007
> January 2008
> February 2008
> March 2008
> April 2008
> May 2008
> June 2008
> July 2008
> August 2008
> September 2008
> October 2008
> November 2008
> December 2008
> January 2009
> February 2009
> March 2009
> April 2009
> May 2009
> June 2009
> July 2009
> August 2009
> September 2009
> October 2009
> December 2009
> February 2010
> April 2010
> June 2010
> September 2010
> October 2010
> November 2010
> December 2010
> January 2011
Edit: Adobe Photoshop CS2*
Fonts: Dafont*
Brushes: x
Image: o
Host: Blogger* Photobucket*
Thanks: Blogskins*
I like looking at eye candy, because they're just so yummy! Earlier on I was so bored, I messaged him for a little chat. It's new year after all, that's a good excuse, right? Then I started looking at his pictures online, and gawd, he looks better than ever. The perfect example of a what an ideal male specimen should look like! My ideal, anyway. I came across a message his aunt left him, which reminded me of the past, but I tell myself that I have nothing to be scared of, it's the past after all. Then I came across someone congratulating him on being attached, that she is happy for the two of them. attached. Attached? ATTACHED?! Noooooo....!!! It's one of those "you're not mine, but I don't want you to be someone else's either" situation. Labels: musings, relationships
心酸
Not that long ago I was just talking with someone about how she would feel if her ex got attached to someone else. For myself, I think I said I would find it hard to be happy for him. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's some kind of weird possessiveness, that I don't want him to find someone else to replace me. I was the first, so I was special. I need to remind myself that the operational word is 'was'.
When people ask me if I've gotten over my ex, I always say yes, because I believe that to be true. But everytime I see his pictures I always feel a little something. When I'm at home and feeling nostalgic I just have to look towards my wardrobe and see the smiley balloon. Evidence of a past relationship. Maybe he means more than the other guys I've dated because it was my first serious relationship. Now I often say that I don't really feel much for people, that I'm quite cold-hearted. But at that time, maybe I wasn't so cold-hearted. And it really hurt when things blew up in our faces the first time round.
Ah well. Like someone told me, looks aren't everything. We had so many problems, and maybe in looking back my mind makes things more glorious and rosy than they really were. Fantasies, you know?
I'm happy with my life now. Uncomplicated, carefree. Life's good. :)