Now that the Chinese New Year break is over and it’s back to work, it’s about time to sit down and reflect on the past few days.

The thing about growing up is that you never know what CNY is going to bring. It’s not always the exact same cycle whereby you play the role of a daughter/cousin/niece/friend and visit the same few houses, being on the receiving end of the ang bao tradition. Life is not that stagnant, neither is it very predictable. If one year earlier if you’d asked me whether I would feel awkward at my family gathering, I’d scoff and retort, “Why the heck would I be? They’re my relatives!” Likewise, I never imagined myself spending the night at some place other than my own home, having reunion dinner with a party outside of my immediate family. Life’s funny that way.

This is a CNY of new beginnings and new identities. I feel like someone just refreshed the browser, and I find myself with updated information – now I’m an employee, a plus one, and a new face to many people. With those new add-ons I face new situations in which I have to exude confidence, graciousness and cheerfulness. Not out to impress or to gain approval, but to gain acceptance in part by showing that I know what I’m doing and I’m happy doing it.

As part of the previous existing identity, this CNY is also about mending bridges and strengthening bonds. No matter what happens family is not an entity I can simply dust my ass and walk away from. And so I’m grateful for the act of kindness in the form of an invite, and the step towards reconciliation I felt in the handshake, and the sheer relief/joy over the dinner conversation. Life could really be much worse, but bit by bit I will work towards achieving my goal.

All in all it was a new and interesting celebration to herald the Year of the Tiger. It’s MY year, and I want it to be a fantastic one!

Labels: family

- supergirl soul-saved @ 10:46 am :)

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