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The Lady

22-year-old supergirl

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hello, this entry is a mess.
Thursday, 19 July 2007

Durian puffs - check



Apple strudel - check

- - -

And trainings are getting better in that the liberties are getting more stable, as with the basket toss back tucks, and we get to try more pyramids. Yet doing all these, together with the PT, makes me feel like I should work out more so that I'll be stronger. But I don't want chunkiness, neither do I want any weight gain. And I really am quite lazy to wake up earlier, put on my shoes, and run up the stairs in my block. Or to go downstairs to work with the parallel bars.

Inertia.

- - -

It's a little disconcerting to find out that I knew the man whose funeral wake is being held at the void deck right now. Apparently he died of cancer in his own home. When people pass on, apparently their eyes should be quite easy to close. From what I'd heard, his weren't, and his wife thinks that he didn't want to die. But considering the pain he was in, it was perhaps good to go early, rather than to suffer for months... And have his wife suffer along with him.

Now that I think of it, the gathering of Hainanese old men at my void deck has decreased in size over the years, although this uncle is the first to pass away. Previously when I came home, there would be at least five old men seated at the benches downstairs, and on many occasions, someone would bring a ceramic tea pot and they'd brew tea and have a good chat over it. Back then, the gathering was bustling. These days, the numbers have shrunk to a paltry two. I wonder if they sit and chat, while missing the rowdiness of the good old days, when it seemed less lonely.

I find it hard to imagine many people doing that these days. Just as I find it hard to imagine myself going downstairs to chat with other old ladies when I become an old lady myself. I'm sure it alleviates the boredom that they feel, and it must be a good feeling to be among one's peers. But how does such a gathering come about in the first place? And... Being old ladies then, we must know that it is natural to pass away. What will I feel when my kaki goes? I wonder if secretly, everyone wonders who will be next.

I still haven't changed my view that death is scary, although it's part and parcel of life. I don't want to leave this world without feeling prepared. I don't want to leave feeling that it's not my time to go.

Can I not die?

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- supergirl soul-saved @ 11:58 pm :)