To undo everything would be to forget too much.
There's too much crying, too many sudden spurts of emotions.
What happened to the calm pool I'd always sought after?
Remember the neutral ground we'd talked about?
That's the issue. On top of pride.
And the clamour for certainty, for somewhere that I can think of as (partly) mine.
Shared stakes, joint ownership, equality balance.
A new phase in life. Mine has come, has passed.
I have to deal with what I've already done.
Perhaps you have to deal with what you will do.
I will not uproot you from your safe haven.
Maybe that's where you need to be at this point in time.
Can I say the same for myself?
Communicate, my brother told me.
Communicate.
Communicate.
Communicate.
Gawd. I seriously need to do something about my life.
Let people in. Confide in them. Sound out.
But I just confide in myself.
I could go crazy from the whirring thoughts.